Monday, May 2, 2011

11 Years Later and My Math Is Still Queer

About a month ago my boss called me into her office to hand me my paycheck. Being called into her office is always intimidating, but I was happy to be getting paid. My excitement was smashed when she said, "Here is your check, but you were inaccurate." I immediately realized that I must have miscalculated on my time sheet. I apologized awkwardly. I was too embarrassed to think of the right thing to say. She then looked at me in the eye and said, "Simple math Melanie, this is simple math." At that point I just wanted to die, or be invisible, something.

From that point on I was determined to never let that happen again. I meticulously wrote down my hours at the end of every shift like it was my duty. My co-workers made fun of me. They thought it was ridiculous how much effort I was putting into it. I didn't care though. I was too focused on never having to be that embarrassed again. I was ashamed. I mean, who does that? Not me. I was the kind of kid in high school who was a year ahead in math and still got 100% on my tests. Even before that I was the kid who had rooms and rooms full of treasure on Treasure Mathstorm. Remember that computer game? It holds a special place in my heart.

Now you're probably thinking, everyone makes mistakes, right? This is no big deal. And you are correct. But what if I told you it happened again? That's right. Today I was called into her office again. "Melanie, you have never been correct on your time sheet, ever." Jfoiweufaosdjflkjslkasjdlfkajsoweiugkhjk!! What?! I couldn't believe it. I had TRIPLE checked my math on my most recent time sheet and STILL was off. Did you know that .5 + .5 = 1.0? Apparently it's news to me. This time I had a little more pride to try and defend myself. I told her that I'm usually pretty good at math and I couldn't believe I was having such a problem. I said I would use a calculator from now on. "No," she said, "this is good practice for you." Ahhhhhggggg. Humiliating.

I thought about it the whole drive home. Thank you for letting me share my woes. I feel a little better now. I think it's time for a trip to the 99 Cent Only store for a use of course after I do it in my head. For good practice...


  1. Ughhh that sucks so much. As someone who has always been abysmal at math, I feel your pain.

  2. Dude. I SUCK at simple math! i suck at complicated math. my secret for keeping a time sheet: EXCEL! It does the math FOR me!! Put down the date and then your in your time....and make the formula: Voila! Love it! No thinking involved!